Naruto Discovers the Internet
by Spartan Ninja
Summary: What happens when Naruto gets a computer and finds out about all the people we pair him up with? We should all feel bad for him. Oneshot. Please review.


Disclaimer: Spartan Ninja: I do not own Naruto. He is owned by Kishimoto. I do, however, own a computer and Internet signal (duh). This is a one-shot in shippuden, before the invasion of Pain. I don't know how computers are set up, so forgive me for any mistakes. Onto the story.

Naruto Discovers the Internet

"Finally I'm finished," said a certain blond knuckle-headed ninja as he crawled out from underneath his desk to stand up. "It took a while but I finally finished setting up my new, uh, what's it called again?" Looks at a manual on his desk. "Computer. That's right. I knew that," he said a loud to himself.

Naruto looked at his brand new computer that he had set-up on his desk, admiring his work. Though it didn't seem like much, electronics wasn't Naruto's strong point, so he struggled a little setting it up. He had heard of computers for a while now but never took much interest until recently. He had run into Choji recently, and he had told Naruto that his popularity was through the roof on the computer and what he called the Internet. That caught Naruto's attention, so he decided to get one and see what people said about him. And after several hours of set-up, he was ready to go online.

Naruto then pulled a chair over that was by his desk to sit in as he prepared to go online. Naruto sat in his chair, waiting for something to happen.

"What's wrong with this damn thing," he said, quickly losing his patience at the fact that nothing was happening on his computer. He started to flip madly through the pages of the manual in front of him until he came to a page explaining how to work the computer. It read "To use your computer, you must first turn it on by pushing the big round button on the hard drive and the smaller one on the monitor."

"Huh," was all Naruto could say, confused at the unusual words. He then looked the next page that had the pictures of the computer monitor and hard drive with arrows pointed at the buttons. "Oh, I get it now." Naruto proceeded to turn on his computer. When it was finished booting up he used his mouse to get to his search engine on the computer, which just so happened to be google.

"Google? Why in the world would someone name something after what babies say?" He said out loud in confusion. He proceeded to type in his name in the search bar below Google.

"N-A-R-U-T-O," he said as he typed his name. After clicking enter, he saw thousands of results for his name.

"Wow, I didn't think I was this popular outside the village," he said in genuine surprise. (If only he knew.) The first result caught his interest the most. It read "Naruto Couples".

"What's this," he said as he moved to click it. What happened next was a moment he would never forget. On his screen appeared a long list of people he knew, met, befriended, and/or fought or had no idea who they were. This didn't scare him though. What scared him was what they all had in common on the list.

"Huh, why am I coupled with all these people? I've never even had a girlfriend," Naruto said, confused yet again.

He started to read down the list. The first couple was Naruto and Sakura. "Ah, Sakura-chan," he thought. Some people actually agreed with him on his crush on her. Next he saw Naruto and Hinata. "She's nice and all, I guess. It could work," he thought. The couples after that, though, weren't as appealing to him. Next was Naruto and Ino. "No way, she's to much of a Sasuke fan girl," he thought. Then came Naruto and Tenten. He cringed at the thought. "All those blades she was scare me." Then there was Naruto and Temari. All he could think was "She's to much of a sadist. I feel bad for Shikamaru." Then came ones that were really disturbing him. Naruto and Tsunade. "That would never happen. Ba-chan is like fifty something and I'm fifteen," were his thoughts. Naruto and Anko, he didn't even want to think about it. All those snakes made him shiver just thinking about them. He kept reading down the list until he found one that disturbed him more then any other couple mentioned so far.

"Me and Sasuke," Naruto said. His jaw dropped and his left eye started to twitch. "Never in a million years would I be caught dead with him like that," said out loud. "Whoever wrote this is in for the biggest ass-whooping of his/her life," he yelled loud enough for his neighbors to hear, causing them to cringe in fear at what the nine-tail jinchuriki was going to do to whoever had upset him. Then he looked at the couple below. Naruko and Sasuke. "I don't know anyone named Naruko," he thought. As he clicked a link next to the couple. What happened next would forever haunt him. A picture appeared on his monitor with Sasuke kissing him in Sexy Jutsu form (with his normal jumpsuit on). Naruto reached for his eyes as they felt as though they were burning.

"," Naruto screamed. It was so loud that all of Konoha heard it.

Elsewhere one minute ago.

"I wonder what Naruto's doing now," Sakura asked as she was walking the Choji, Kiba, Tenten, and Shikamaru.

"Beats me," Shikamaru said.

"Probably setting up his computer," Choji said.

"When did he get a computer," Kiba questioned.

"Today after I told him how popular he was on the internet," he replied.

"Are you crazy Choji? Do you not know what's on there," Sakura yelled, eyes wide with shock.

"If we know Naruto, it won't take long for him to be emotionally scarred," Tenten said with a frown, thinking about how it was the worst kind of scarring since it used no blades and didn't leave any physical scars.

"." They all heard a familiar cry in pain/shock from a distance from a voice of a familiar thick headed, blond ninja.

"I guess he discovered Naruto couples," Choji said, a giggle threatening to escape.

"Choji you idiot," Sakura screamed. "Poor Naruto," she thought as she turned to look in the direction of his apartment, "That must be real torture for him." She didn't know the half of it.

End

Spartan Ninja: That's the end. Sorry if it isn't that good. This just came on an impulse after seeing a picture on . Hope you liked it.

Naruto: I didn't. You exposed me to so many couples I never thought of and never wanted to, and now I'll never get the images out of my head. I'm scared for life now, especially with the Naruko and Sasuke couple. Did you have to do this to me?

Spartan Ninja: Yes I did. It wasn't my idea to begin with anyway; it was alonesilentkeeper's idea on . I just adapted it to my needs.

Naruto: Yeah but-

Spartan Ninja: No buts, or do you want that last couple to occur in my other Naruto story?

Naruto: I'll be quiet.

Spartan Ninja: Good. Now to everyone out there, thanks for reading. Please review. I allow all to review. This wasn't my best, being made on an impulse with the lack of a beta reader, so please forgive me. And if you liked this, check out my other stories on my profile. I also have the link to the picture that inspired this fic on my profile. Thanks for reading. S.P.


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